Finding out your partner is pregnant can cause fear and worry, and thinking through the options can be overwhelming. The conversation surrounding abortion is almost exclusively discussed from a women’s point of view, leaving little room for the voice of men, especially those who don’t think abortion is best for them and their partner.

Here are a few tips for men attempting to chat with their partners about alternatives to abortion:

1. Tell Your Partner You Will Be There for Them and Support Them.

Many women turn to abortion because they feel as though they won’t have the support they need for adoption or parenting. If you haven’t already, tell your partner you’re ready to be present for them and support them through each moment — good and bad.

Your partner may feel like abortion is her only real option. Taking the time to explain you’ll be there for her through it all might be exactly what she needed to hear to confidently choose parenting or adoption.

2. Help Your Partner Gather Resources Regarding Each Pregnancy Option.

When making such a big decision, it’s important to take time to gather all of the information you can regarding each choice. Think of it this way — Do you ever make a big life decision without doing some research first? Gathering information is a way of ensuring you’re making the best choice for yourself and your future.

As you walk alongside your partner as she makes this choice, offer to help her gather information and learn about all of the resources available to her.

When it comes to abortion, take time to chat together about the potential side effects, risks, and costs you may face.

If you and your partner are nervous about not being able to afford the costs of raising a child, research resources in your community that exist to help people in your situation.

If you’re not sure where to start, your local pregnancy center is an amazing resource! PRC Grand Rapids offers medical resources and referrals, physical resources (like clothing, diapers, and more), and parenting classes! 

3. Encourage Your Partner to Schedule a Free Appointment for an Ultrasound Scan

If your partner hasn’t already confirmed the pregnancy through an ultrasound scan, encourage her to schedule an appointment at her local pregnancy center.

If she’s comfortable with you coming along, be sure to make your presence a priority. Getting an ultrasound may be an emotional experience, so you might even consider setting aside some intentional time after the appointment to process together.

An ultrasound will provide you both with important information to be aware of before considering abortion. Ultrasounds reveal information such as the age, location, and viability of the pregnancy and are essential in making an informed decision.

We hope these tips help you and your partner navigate this unplanned pregnancy and make the decisions that are best for you and your future!