Men Only

Men and Abortion

The abortion issue is a paradox for men.  While men are encouraged to be more involved in child-rearing, they are also systematically denied the right to be involved in life and death decisions affecting their unborn children.

Men often report feeling powerless regarding abortion decisions.  Subsequent role conflict, guilt, depression and relationship termination cause a great deal of conflict and grief.  Men often report the abortion experience as painful and bewildering.

• Double Standard
  Vincent Rue, Ph.D. says this, “When men promote abortion for their partners it is typified as coercion, lack of caring, insensitivity and selfishness.  When women choose abortion, it is the exclamation of women’s rights, an affirmation of the right to health and freedom from male oppression, and a confirmation of sovereign territoriality over the female body and reproductive functions.”
• Grief and Guilt
  Both men and women may require emotional support after an abortion when they realize that the loss of a child is a loss like none other.   Vincent Rue says that “Reconciliation of the death of one’s unborn child ultimately involves the act of forgiveness.  Forgiveness for abortion flows from being willing to know the truth and tell the truth.  To grow is to forgive oneself no matter the degree or nature of the mistake. “Unfortunately, people often get stuck in trying to forgive before they accept their own feelings exactly as they are.  Thinking that they should or must forgive, and attempting forgiveness, prevents them from actually experiencing it.”
• No Forgetting
  Forgiving does not equal forgetting.  Even when reconciliation of feelings takes place, memories will remain.  Many men are victims of abortion along with women and their unborn children-they are often silent in their suffering and personal pain.